Writers' Forum
More Thoughts On the Writing of Humor
[Pat writing in the woods. 1961. Photo by Bun.]
Approaching the end of my senior year in college, I suddenly realized that I might soon have to get regular job. I wrote to the editor of Sunset Magazine, a man by the name of Proctor Millquist. In my usual careless fashion in those days, I wrote in the salutation, “Dear Mr. Proctor,” which was like writing, “Dear Mr. Fred.” You might expect that an editor whose name you had reversed might simply ignore your application for a job, or at least write back, “We have no openings for persons who reverse the editor’s name.” Instead, Mr. Millquist wrote me back a nice letter, saying the magazine didn’t have any openings at the present time but that I should contact his Northwest editor in Seattle, Ms. Nancy Davidson, to discuss freelance assignments. I phoned Ms. Davidson. She invited me to Seattle to discuss freelance assignments. From the Pullman campus of Washington State University I rushed to Seattle. You must keep in mind here that I was a 20-year-old kid raised in the mountains of North Idaho and still had copious amounts of forest moss behind the ears. I was amazed that the Northwest editor of Sunset Magazine would take the time out of her busy schedule to discuss anything with someone like me.
I arrived an hour early at the Seattle building containing Sunset’s offices on an upper floor. I don’t think I had ever before ridden in an elevator and this would be a new and frightening experience for me. As I sat in the lobby of the building, waiting for the time of my appointment, the most spectacular lady I had ever seen in my life swept through the lobby. She was tall and graceful, had beautiful silver hair, and wore a cape! I had never before seen anyone like her! I thought, “Oh, I hope that isn’t Nancy Davidson.” But it turned out to be! As I was soon to learn, Nancy Davidson was also extremely gracious. She talked to me for a whole hour. In the course of that meeting, she gave me the best advice I have ever received in regard to writing. She told me how to come up with ideas for articles: “Take the ordinary and reverse it.
As soon as I got home, I tried to think of something ordinary that I could reverse. I intended the article for a winter issue of Sunset. So I asked myself, what do you do in the summer that you could reverse and do in the winter. I thought of several possibilities but finally it occurred to me that one of the things you do in summer is go on picnics. For a winter issue of Sunset, why not a winter picnic! So I wrote an article on winter picnics and Sunset bought it! Sunset has since run several articles on winter picnics but I wrote the first!
Eventually, when I began to write humor, I remembered Ms. Davidson’s advice: “reverse the ordinary.” Field & Stream often published articles on the best hunting dogs in the world. I wrote a humor piece on my dog Strange, the worst hunting dog in the world. It was bought and published. There was a Field & Stream feature titled “The Old Man And The Boy” in which Robert Ruark wrote about a wise old man giving advice to a boy. I reversed this and wrote about an ignorant old man giving advice to a boy, namely Rancid Crabtree and myself. Where the other writers gave advice on how to catch fish and shoot game, I gave advice on how not to catch fish and shoot game. I used the “reverse” on numerous factual articles, too. It was the most valuable writing advice anyone has ever given me, and I pass it on to you free of charge. Dang, I wish there was some way to charge, because that advice is invaluable!
**Everything I Know About Writing
There are many good books on writing at your local library, and you should read all of them or at least those on topics of particular interest to you. Writers' Market used to be an essential book for all freelance writers, and I suspect it is still useful, but it is not the great resource it once was. It will tell you who is buying what, how much, how to prepare manuscripts and submit them, etc. The best book on magazine article writing and writing in general, in my opinion, is William Zinsser’s On Writing Well.
The way to become a professional writer is to set aside a period of time each day forwriting—two hours is about right. And then write seven days a week. In a month, you will have learned more than all the writing classes could ever have taught you.
[Organizing with chapter cards. Photograph by Bun.]
Don’t be afraid of imitating writers that you particularly enjoy reading. Your own style will eventually develop through the process of your own writing. Imitation is the best way to learn. Of famous writers, I think Ernest Hemingway is the best one to learn from. The worst Hemingway is probably the best for learning, because it’s easier to see what he’s doing. That doesn’t mean you have to write like Hemingway. Sometimes he even gives advice. I like what he has to say about the “three cushion” pool shot: " I try to do the thing by the three cushion shot rather than by words or direct statement. But maybe we must have the direct statement, too." Let the reader put two or three things together to know something about a character; don't tell them straight out. For example, don't say my friend Jack is precise. Show them Jack filling his gas tank to even gallons or balancing his checkbook to the penny.
Get your stuff published. Local newspapers and local magazines of all kinds are a great place to start. Once you have published your first piece—anywhere—you are on your way. The first published piece will be a major psychological breakthrough for you. After that, you will know that you can do it. Once you have published a few pieces in a local publication, set your sights a little higher. Don’t try to start at the top of the ladder; you will only be discouraged, unless, of course, you happen to be a genius. And the editor you send the piece to is also a genius. You will often become discouraged by responses from editors, or no responses from editors, but if you let that stop you, you weren’t meant for this business. Rejection is a big part of becoming a writer. If you can’t stand rejection, writing is probably the wrong career for you.
A former college student of mine, who went on to a very successful career in writing, told me the other day at lunch that I had once informed a writing workshop not to be afraid of contacting celebrities, if that’s whom you want to write about. So she sent Carol Burnett a letter, and ended up interviewing Ms. Burnett at the Brown Derby restaurant in Hollywood. She sold the piece to Working Women magazine.
Analyze the publication to which you want to aim your article or story. Study at least a dozen issues: what kinds of articles have they run in the past, what kinds of ads do they run, what are the special interests of the audience, etc. In order to sell to a publication, you need to understand it almost as well as the editor does—perhaps better. Almost any magazine-article writing book in the library will show you how to do this. The rest depends on your own talent and intelligence.
Humor: The humor piece is one of the most difficult to sell. Editors are afraid of humor. An editor may think your story is hilarious but he’s afraid to trust his own judgment when it comes to humor. An editor wrote to me once and asked me to write for his magazine. “But not humor,” he said. “Humor is too dangerous.” I don’t think it occurs to any kid that he will become a humor writer when he grows up. I certainly had no intention of doing so. I wrote mostly science and travel articles my first ten years of freelancing. One evening I completed a science article and still had an hour left in my writing time. So I wrote a piece of nonsense. In those days, I had a rule, and that was that anything I wrote I would send out to market. The humor piece was rejected twice but then bought by Field & Stream. I was paid $300 for it. I had just written a long factual piece for a major national magazine and was paid $750 for it. But I had worked two months on the factual piece and only one hour on the humor piece. Wait a darn minute, I thought. And that is how I suddenly became a humor writer.
I think the writing business is much tougher to break into now than it was when I started. But making a living as an independent freelance writer is one of the best jobs in the world. I was told by a very successful freelancer a decade or so ago, “Pat, the Internet is the future of freelancing.” I have no experience with that, but he was probably right. I just don’t know anything about it.
Article Idea Salability Test
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Is subject unusual—largest, smallest, cheapest, most expensive, worse, best, oldest, youngest, etc.?
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Is it off-beat—is it a subject the publication ordinarily wouldn’t buy but which can be “slanted” to the editorial requirements?
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Does the article have a point? Does it make some assertion that is supported by the text of the article?
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Does the article engage the self-interest of the reader in this particular audience?
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Is the article about a person or people as opposed to a “thing”?
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Are good original quotes available?
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Are good research sources (authorities to interview) available?
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Are there good anecdotes available?
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Are there one or more appropriate markets available for the article?
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Is it possible to get good illustrations?
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Does the article have humor or drama?
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Does the topic have national interest as opposed to regional or local interest?
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Is it timely?
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Does it have a “key phrase” or editorial concept?
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Does it have a catchy title or hook for the lead?
**Since this was originally written, Pat has learned a few more things. Check out our Links page for more enlightenment!
